loljk:

SEEKING: MASS E-MAIL COPYWRITER.

Job Posting: Seeking creative and tech savvy copywriter for creating mass e-mail ad campaigns for various pharmaceutical companies and male enhancement products. Must be fluent in nothing and have flagrant disregard for grammar.

SUB: Job Posting #34872

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in response to your job posting #34872 found on coolwowjobs.com for the “Mass E-mail Copywriter” position.  I have several years experience working on computers and I have a degree from a two year tech school.  I am a huge fan of the internet and pornography in general and believe my experiences will greatly enhance the company I work for.

Please see attached for a sample of my writing.

Warmest regards,
Doug Sucksmith.

Attachement: Writing_Sample.docx

SUBJECT: BALL NUTS!! 5000 Ass BUttS!

HEY THERE TWILIGHT! What are you doing with those new XXX movies! Big cheap VIAGRA you say?  I’d buy that for the LOW LOW PRICE OF 99 CENTS.  Nothing like a good SALE found on TWITTER, maybe even FACEBOOK to get your BOOBS growing! Did you hear MEGAN FOX loves doing SEX with NATALIE PORTMAN? STAR WARS loves to know HOW DEEP can you last!? WORLD of WARCRAFT loves MICHAEL JACKSON’s “Beat it” in Zombies! Nothing says PORNO quite like a FREE BRAND NEW CAR! click HERE to get your years supply of BILLIE MAYS, also SLAP CHOP.  Don’t forget to watch the YOUTUBE channel, and request METALLICA from your local DRUG DEALER! Buy one get one FREE of multiple SEXUAL partner CLAMIDIA!!1 Also foot sex.

P.S.  Butt Babies!

SUB: Re: Job Posting #34872

When can you start?

Dick Pornguy 69
Owner and Operator of The Internet.

-Joey
TWITTER @jreinisch @LOLjoeyANDkyle @destructobox @mooncounty

4:04 pm  •  21 October 2009  •  2 notes